Listen to the Cancer.Net Podcast: When the Doctor Says Cancer, adapted from this content.

Watch the Cancer.Net Video: When the Doctor Says Cancer, with Maurie Markman, MD, adapted from this content.

Key Messages

• After a cancer diagnosis, take care of yourself while coping with this news.
  
  
• Start learning about your disease by asking questions and recording the answers.
  
  
• Seek the support of family, friends, and others, and find other ways to express your feelings.

It is a situation that is often feared: sitting in the doctor's office and hearing that you have cancer. People diagnosed with cancer often say they were stunned upon hearing the diagnosis and unable to hear much of what was said afterward. After the initial shock, most people begin to look for sources of information and support.

Seeking information

It is important to understand your disease and the process of diagnosing and treating it. During the initial visit, absorbing the news of the cancer and its unfamiliar medical language may be difficult. You may want to take a family member or a friend who will not only be supportive, but can also help listen to and remember information. Using a tape recorder during the visit can also capture information for future use.

However you choose to accurately record information, it is important to do so. Getting the correct facts about your situation will help you make appropriate decisions in the coming days. Additionally, being an informed, involved patient and voicing your questions and concerns can be helpful to you and your doctor and nurse in forming a partnership in your care. Some patients want to know more information while others less. Tell your doctor and nurse how you prefer to be given information about your diagnosis, treatment, and prognosis (chance of recovery). Don't be afraid to ask questions or to let your doctor know that you don't know what questions to ask. Learn more about how to participate in your cancer care.

The following questions may be appropriate to ask your health care team:

• What is the exact type and name of the cancer I have?
  
  
• How was it diagnosed?
  
  
• What tests were taken and what did they show?
  
  
• Will I need additional tests?
  
  
• What stage is the cancer and what does that mean?
  
  
• What are my treatment options?
  
  
• What clinical trials are open to me?
  
  
• Who will be coordinating my overall treatment and follow-up care?
  
  
• Who will be part of my health care team, and what does each member do?
  
  
• What are the possible side effects of this treatment option, both in the short term and the long term?
  
  
• If I’m worried about managing the costs related to my cancer care, who can help me with these concerns?
  
  
• What are the next steps?
  
  
• What support services are available to me and my family?

Find more questions to ask the doctor.

Coping strategies

Absorbing news of cancer and communicating with your doctor are part of the coping process. Many resources are available to understand the nature of coping. Your oncologist can provide resources, including written materials and names of psychologists and group therapists. Don't be afraid to ask for them. Understanding your emotions—and those of people close to you—can be helpful in managing your diagnosis, treatment, and process of healing. Read more about coping with a cancer diagnosis.

Illness changes our relationship to the world. Being diagnosed with cancer is a difficult experience, and it is inevitable that there will be days when you cannot make yourself feel hopeful. That is normal, especially if you feel physically sick or tired. Take care of yourself during those difficult times and realize that much has been learned and applied in recent years to help ease the process of cancer treatment.

Get organized

As you visit various doctors, you will gather a large amount of paperwork, test results, and personal notes. Creating a system for all these papers can help you communicate with your health care team and streamline correspondence with your insurance company, if insurance is covering the cost of your care.

A good system allows you to make the most of your time with your health care providers by having your questions readily available and information close at hand. Read more information on how to get organized and manage your care.

Consider a second opinion

A second opinion is standard practice in medical care. In fact, many doctors encourage their patients to seek second opinions. To find a doctor, you can ask others who have been treated for a similar cancer, ask your doctor to make a referral, call local or regional comprehensive cancer centers, or use ASCO’s Find an Oncologist database. Look for an oncologist with a practice focused on that particular type of cancer. Learn more about seeking a second opinion.

Get support

Research has shown that sharing fears and anxieties with family or friends, counselors, clergy, or support groups helps strengthen patients emotionally, and perhaps even physically. Because not all people find it easy to open up to others, they may express their feelings in other ways:

• Writing in a journal
  
  
• Artistic projects, such as painting
  
  
• Praying
  
  
• Reading
  
  
• Slowing down and reflecting

However, even with outlets to express feelings, sometimes patients may experience anxiety and depression. If you find yourself uninterested in normal activities for more than a few weeks, talk with your doctor.

More Information

Newly Diagnosed? First Steps to Take

Emotional and Physical Matters

Support Groups

Additional Resources

CancerCare booklet: Coping With Cancer: Tools to Help You Live

Last Updated: April 21, 2010